


Enjoy The Silence

by HarmoniHalo



Series: Enjoy/Endure/Embrace [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Based on a song, Fluff, Gratuitous hand holding oh my, Innuendo, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Not exactly a confession, Post-Apocalypse, tiny bit of angst if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarmoniHalo/pseuds/HarmoniHalo
Summary: Crowley wanted to ask for permission before he continued but didn't want to break the silence. He had an inkling that if he dared speak he would say something stupid and the moment would end.He waited too long for this, for years, since the Beginning.Don't fuck it up.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Enjoy/Endure/Embrace [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821220
Comments: 15
Kudos: 117





	Enjoy The Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my lovely beta-reader Claudia_n_e!

"You can stay at my place, if you like."

Crowley hadn't expected Aziraphale to take him up on the offer. But honestly, where else could he go? If anything, the angel was cornered. And when they eventually arrived at his flat, he wasn't quite sure what to expect either. Maybe Zira would want some wine. Maybe they would drink the night away, like they loved to do. Maybe talk till the sun rose. And despite Crowley wanting to curl up for a month-long nap, he was more than happy to stay up a bit longer if he could spend time with his best friend. 

When the two crossed the threshold, Crowley started towards the kitchen, hoping to grab some glasses and a bottle. But before he could take a step, he overheard Aziraphale say in a sheepish voice, "I think I should lay my head down a bit. The past few days have really done a number on me..." 

"Well, erm, by all means." Crowley responded, indicating the nearby couch. "I was going to pour some drinks but if you--" The demon paused, noticing Aziraphale walking down the hallway and not toward the leather couch. "Angel? Where are you heading off to??" Crowley asked, his voice a bit strained. 

After receiving no response from his house guest, the demon followed after him. But was surprised when Aziraphale turned into the bedroom and he could hear a soft flump as he fell into the sheets. 

'Why the bedroom? Why my bedroom?' Crowley thought, his imagination running wild with possibilities. 'If he wanted to take a nap, he would just lay out on the couch, wouldn't he?' He had to regain control of himself, feeling all sorts of jittery at the turn of events. 

His best friend was lying in his bed, his friend. His completely and totally platonic friend. Aziraphale wanted to nap, that's all. Despite never having a nap before as far as Crowley knew. So he could just leave the angel alone, he would sleep on the couch tonight. Or least try to if he could prevent himself from ending up on the ceiling. Right, just walk back down the hall and---

"Crowley?" The soft and gentle way Aziraphale called out was almost too much for the already unbelievably flustered demon to handle. Why him? Why like this? 

Crowley cleared his throat before responding in a croak, "Yeah, angel?"

"I was hoping you could come and lay beside me, if you don't mind." Aziraphale requested fondly, his voice sweet and tender, causing his friend in the hall to nearly double over with embarrassment. 

'Lay with him?!' The demon's thoughts started up again, torn between the innocence of their friendly interactions and an undercurrent of demonic influence.

Almost like a game of table tennis, they went back and forth.

'Zira probably wants to talk.'

Ping.

'He won't be able to do much talking with what I'm going to do to him.'

Pong.

'He's my best friend, and not to mention, we're still being watched, very closely.'

Ping.

'Let them watch. I'm sure they'd be impressed about how I tempted an angel to yield to me.'

Pong. 

'That won't happen. Aziraphale sees me as a friend. We are friends. That's as far as it goes; and even that is pushing it.'

"You don't have to, if you don't want to, dear…" Aziraphale's voice cut through the haze, the troubling manifestations temporarily vanishing from Crowley's clouded mind. Though the angel was insisting that if Crowley didn't want to join him that it was alright, there was an undercurrent of hope that he would say yes and preemptive disappointment if he said no. But Crowley lacked the ability to say 'no' to his angel, er… best friend. 

"Yeah, just…" Crowley responded, trying and failing to hide the nervous waver in his tone, "coming, angel." 

Crowley had to collect his thoughts and make a plan if things went awry. He wouldn't try anything, he couldn't. No matter what his corrupted mind told him to do. But if Zira made the first move, as absurd as it sounded, what would he do? Would he be able to resist, say no, and keep them from making a terrible mistake that could end them both? Crowley believed he could, despite the thought of telling Aziraphale 'no' making him deathly ill. But the idea of the angel coming on to him, baby blue eyes sparkling with adoration, affection and a tinge of lust…

No, if Aziraphale dared to even try, he wouldn't be able to resist. 

After willing his feet to move toward the bedroom's doorway and convincing his eyes to fall on the bed, Crowley let out a small sigh of relief. Aziraphale was there on top of the sheets, but the only thing he was missing was his shoes which were neatly placed at the foot of his bed. He noticed the demon enter and gave him a gentle smile before laying back against the pillow. 

While the sight was a relief above all else, Crowley couldn't help but kick himself over his earlier pondering, and be a slight bit disappointed over the fact that he couldn't execute them.

There was a soft pat, pat where Aziraphale indicated the spot next to him, inviting Crowley to join, which he did without question. 

As he crawled onto the bed, the demon sent his shoes away, seemed only the polite thing to do considering that is what Aziraphale had done. He fell against the sheets, sighing softly as the mattress practically hugged him, urging him to rest. But seeing Aziraphale out of the corner of his eye was enough to keep him awake. 

The angel seemed to be staring up at the ceiling, his legs crossed and his hands laced together at his stomach. It… didn't seem comfortable at all. Despite that, Aziraphale looked at ease, blinking slowly every few seconds, his breaths coming out quiet and calm. Probably the most serene Crowley had seen him for the past few days, or millennia even. The closest Aziraphale even treaded towards the idea of "relaxed" is whenever he was drunk, and that was pushing it. The angel was like a hummingbird, constantly flapping his wings lest he die. Even now, there was a subtle hint of panic in his eyes. 

Crowley had half a mind to speak, opening his mouth to do so, but snapped it shut. For once, he didn't have anything to say. One of their favorite pastimes was talking, sometimes about more serious endeavors other times about nothing, but there wasn't really to speak up about. They had both been through the wringer. The past week a blur of chaos, panic with a tinge of hurt over their almost ruined relationship. 

The two had many tiffs over the years but that one in particular shook Crowley to his core. He genuinely thought he and Aziraphale would split apart and never speak again. Just imagining having to carry on without his best friend by his side or even just watching him in the shadows… no, he didn't want to consider that; and now he didn't have to. 

Everything was handled now. The world didn't end. He and the angel were still together. Sure there was the impending fear of both their respective bosses putting them on trial for treason and the idea of being completely ended, but Crowley tried not to focus on that. 

If anything, he'd take not existing anymore over escaping to another galaxy and never seeing Aziraphale again. He'd call this a win. 

The silence was becoming overwhelming now. Why hasn't Aziraphale said anything? Did he want Crowley to speak up first? What was there to even say? 'We're gonna cease to exist in a day or two but at least I get to be with you until then'?; 'I know it's all gonna be over soon, but at least we have each other'?

It didn't sound genuine, just selfish. 

Aziraphale must be terrified right now and all Crowley could do was continue to fawn and pin over the angel to an obsessive degree. Putting his own interests over the other's feelings. He was already a shitty demon but now he was also a shitty friend. 

Hesitantly, Crowley glanced over at Aziraphale, who caught his eyeline and gave him a warm smile. He… he didn't seem terrified. Actually, he seemed calm and happy. Like he wanted to be beside the demon. Like he felt comfortable. 

But maybe that was just wishful thinking, like Crowley was only convincing himself that everything was fine and that Aziraphale wasn't silently panicking behind his soft blue eyes. 

That was until he felt something graze against the back of his hand, leaving a tingly sensation in its wake. Crowley looked down at his hip where his hand lay, noticing the angel's pale one beside it while his pinky lay atop of his own. 

The demon felt his breath catch at the realization. Of all the years the two spent together, they barely even touched. Only by accident did their hands touch or the bodies bump into each other. It was a silent rule between the two, maybe even a part of the Arrangement. 

Don't touch. We can talk, we can laugh, we can cry and scream, but don't touch. 

Was Aziraphale purposely doing this? Was it an accident as it always seemed to be?

The angel traced a finger across Crowley's wrist. 

Definitely not an accident. 

Crowley wanted to ask for permission before he continued but didn't want to break the silence. He had an inkling that if he dared speak he would say something stupid and the moment would end. 

He waited too long for this, for years, since the Beginning. 

Don't fuck it up. 

With a quaky hand, he cupped his fingers around Aziraphale clumsily, holding his breath expecting one of them to burst into flames. But nothing happened. Crowley heard Aziraphale let out a shaky breath in relief, and the two looked at each other. The demon expected rejection, maybe a look of disgust but no. Aziraphale looked back at him, his blue eyes sparkling, the most beautiful smile Crowley had seen on his face. 

Crowley rubbed a circle over top of Aziraphale's hand with his thumb, returning the grin with his own. The angel let out a soundless laugh, before leaning in to lay on Crowley's shoulder, causing the demon's insides to twist into knots. 

The angel smelled sweet, the strangest combination of lavender and sugar, mixed in with a heaping amount of love that only (1) angel could possess. It always hung on Aziraphale's shoulders and Crowley could only lightly pick it up with the distance that they kept from each other. But now with the barrier broken, the smell enveloped him, warm and comforting, like drinking with a beloved friend on a snowy night next to a roaring fire. 

Crowley was barely able to comprehend the flood of emotions that ran through him at the moment, originally believing that for someone who had Fallen, would only know the concept of the emotions and never be able to actually feel them. But here he was, in his flat, on his bed, next to the purest, beautiful, most loving being to have ever existed. And he was holding his hand. Nuzzling into his shoulder. Sharing the same space. 

Crowley felt something warm run down his cheek, that he didn't bother to wipe away. There was no point. 

He let his head fall against Aziraphale, who gripped his hand tighter in response, silently telling him it was okay, they were okay like this. He wanted to be this close. He wanted to be like this and this close with Crowley.

He almost couldn't believe it. This had to be a dream. That was it. He fell asleep on the couch and Aziraphale was sleeping in his bed like he was going to originally. 

He hoped he never woke up. 

Crowley looked down at Aziraphale, who's eyes were closed and he was breathing gently in and out. The demon couldn't help but smirk, he really did look like an angel when he slept. 

The fatigue finally hit, and Crowley felt his eyelids start to get heavy. However, he couldn't help but be excited. Everytime he slept he woke up alone. But as he closed his eyes, he knew that when he woke up, Aziraphale would be there. His angel would be there for him. 

If this wasn't a dream, that is.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is based off the Depeche Mode song of the same name and this fic was fueled by my drive to write something that wasn't smut. AND I DID IT  
> Now I can write more smut aha  
> Honestly though i'm a big fan of really passionate and intense confession scenes but what I crave even more is taking things SUPER slow.  
> Hence this fanficlet. Yeah they could've kissed but I wanted to imply how overwhelming just holding hands is.


End file.
